Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Let's Look At Coventry's Job Centres

In an effort to up the excitement, we visit the heart of world culture and soccer violence, England. In this post we will visit some English settlements and learn more about that unique urban feature, the Job Centre.

This venerable building has been modified with a tasteful facade so that all might know the location of this Job Centre. This one is actually in Bedworth, but I think it's quite picturesque. Bedworth falls under the same postal code, so its fair game.
  • geraniums and seating so you can enjoy the view of this pedestrianised area with your back to the Job Centre
  • thoughtfully located by funeral services and pharmacy
  • just across the street from All Saints Church
  • Lloyds Bank is just on the corner
  • you missed the charity jumble sale on Smorrall Lane, a chance to meet this graceful flower of Bedworth:

The jumble sale was on the other side of the A444 motorway, but it would've been worth the trip. She was selling everything for 25p - a fair English maiden AND a bargain.

You blew it.

Coventry's Job Centre is so big I couldn't hope to capture it in anything but a satellite photograph. That youth with the white cap is the kind of thug who once beat someone to death for supporting the wrong soccer team.

  • the English are rarely sober, so we have metal posts sticking up out of the sidewalk to tell us when to stop driving
  • public trash cans, or 'rubbish bins', are emblazoned with the city or county's name and coat of arms, begging to be vandalized
  • all rubbish bins are bomb proof, because of the Irish
  • Englishmen worth their salt despise public property and adore vandalism; this isn't relevant, but I thought you'd better know I once threw a toilet at the glass lobby of a Safeways - in any other country the glass would shatter, but because this was England it bounced

11 miles East of Coventry we find Rugby, a town made world famous in 1937 for being the birthplace of the jet engine.

  • Rugby can't afford geraniums: instead, there are some nice hedges to spruce up the place
  • only two Indian restaurants nearby - are we sure this is England?
  • plethora of warnings on the entrance: violence and anti-social behavior have no place in the Job Centre
  • dentist across the street, but have you ever seen the state of English people's teeth?
Now I feel weary, jaded and disillusioned ... let's end this on a positive note.

That's better!

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